The Call Girl

This is what happened recently

A member of my family died. Nothing significant really happened to me in the immediate aftermath. Three days later at a mental health screening i am diagnosed by a shrink with a form of depression commonly known as Mania.

Looked this up online. I really suspect its Hypomania and Bipolar disorder rather than actual Mania. Then again it might just be pure bullshit.

I am not surprised.

I think it is in my genes.

I think my Gong Gong had it.

I think my father has it.

Which explains.

Wu Tien and I shared a converse about power relationships over MSN yesterday. I told him i sometimes fantasize about being a call-girl. My reasons were the relationships, power, intrigue, fantasy lifestyle, yada yada. I mentioned money wasnt the issue. He commented on my preccocious qualities after hearing that i conceived the call-girl notion at age 8-that was when i first listened to the song "Never been to me" by Charlene. I also told him i conceived the idea of sex at age 5.

I was really unproductive over the weekend.

It is also every weekend that i am unproductive.

To make up for this i am super-productive over the weekday. As a result i have little sleep.

Strange that i feel so energised with less sleep.

I think this may be the effects of student government campaigning i did.
Now i feel so confident, energetic and charismatic. People marvel at my speeches.

Which makes me nervous as the results of my candidacy will be annouced to me in two days.

This is just one of the reasons for my current condition.

My GPA is very low.

Accounting has something to do with my GPA.

I hate Accounting. My father made me do it. Then again even if he didnt i might have done it on my own.

All because Accounting grads at my school are almost guaranteed to get Big 4 jobs.

I work hard to receive below average grades.

If i have this type of grades when i graduate- i wont be hired in investment banking.

The only way for me is to get a investment banking internship and get re-hired.

But i didnt get any interviews for that at all-my GPA is still bad.

I saw every single investment banking aspirant the other day walking around school in suits for their interviews.

I wasnt wearing a suit.

I felt even more depressed and wanted to go out.

But i could not- I didnt have a car.

My mother says father is not willing to buy me one.

They both went back on their word.

Now i have to continue taking the bus.

I should get on a jinxed bus that would crash and leave me dead.

Maybe then my father would feel really guilty.

I can already hear his voice cursing me stupid if he finds out about my mental illness.

Half the time when he does so he threatens to pull me out of school.

If he does, that gives me one more reason why i should be a call-girl.

Beverly Hills is only 20 mins away.